humans

personality theorist say that ones personality is set by the age of 5 or 6. they still debate whether its nature vs nurture or a combination of the two.  i believe its is the combination of the two. those first 5-6 yrs all we do is absorb and imitate. we set up standards and morals (whether or not we realize thats what we are doing at the time). we learn what is "good" or "bad". but who made these rules? why arent we given a choice to decide for ourselves what is "good" or "bad". i personally dont allow others opinions of "good " or "bad" ( ok , im so done with the stupid quotation marks, you get it ) to influence my choices. my mother calls this learning the hard way. but id much rather learn the hard way than just let someone tell me what i should and shouldnt do all my life. isnt it the experiences and the memories that we live for. what are we living for if we just take some one elses word for it. 

i hate etiquette books, who made up all those silly rules about forks and cups and seating arrangements and duties of a hostess and duties of a guest. if yr out with yr friends you shouldnt be monitoring yrself or yr friends. you should be in the moment, having the fun you came to have.  i slouch, i chew with my mouth open (which is gross but usually its bc i my allergies are so bad i cant breathe out of my nose) i play with my food, elbows are always on the table, i say inappropriate things, and sometimes i ignore utensils completely. now there is a difference between etiquette and having respect for those around you.  im just saying im going to use whichever fork i want. 

but back to my original thought

i wonder, if it was possible and safe and all that jazz, to take a dozen or so infants of different races and genders and put them in a completely neutral environment , some remote island ,and let them learn whatever they decide they need to learn . let them develop themselves, what the outcome would be. they would never have been introduced to racism or sexism or politics or media distorted images of what someone should look like or act like or any other hypocrisies.  would they eventually find some reason to divide and create chaos or would they learn peace and to see someone for the inside. would they create some lord of the flies horror island or create their own garden of eden utopia? 

i guess what i am asking is are we innately good or bad. or are most of us blank slates with a few leaders that draw us to either side. 

im reading this and i sound stark raving mad probably but i dont agree with most personality theorist. i believe you are constantly developing and constantly changing because everyday your experiencing new things, your still learning whether you realize it or not, and that changes you. and ive learned that the older i get the fuzzier the lines from good to bad get. now its only bad if blah blah and this is good only when ......

i guess what im saying is im sticking with my rules, my ideas of who i should be , what i should look like, what i should do, what i should say, and most def what i should think or better yet what i choose to think. 

and maybe you should too

as always stay tuned :)